Why Your Divorce Lawyer Should Not Be Your Therapist

Divorce can be incredibly stressful and bring out emotions that it’s honestly hard to handle. This is where therapists come in and be incredibly helpful. One of a therapist’s best skills is their being compassionate. For anyone In a divorce, separation, or custody case, compassion from their attorney is also very much appreciated and can greatly benefit their attorney-client relationship. However, compassion alone doesn’t win court cases. A good divorce family law attorney is compassionate, but also possesses the legal knowledge, negotiating skills courtroom experience and drive to succeed in your family law cases.

To obtain a favorable result in court, you and your divorce lawyer need to work well together. This requires a good understanding of what your attorney’s role is in your divorce case. And what it is not. Even the most experienced lawyer can be hindered by a lack of professional boundaries and/or unrealistic expectations from a client. Not having that understanding can lead to a poor attorney-client relationship, which can not only negatively impact the divorce proceedings, but also cost you more in the long run. This is why it is imperative to maintain boundaries in an attorney-client relationship

Both therapists and lawyers offer professional services to equip their clients for success, but it’s important to understand that “success” can look different in clinical psychology than it does in the legal field. At the end of the day, both therapists and attorneys require professional boundaries to perform their jobs effectively. The last thing you want to do is pay a professional for services they aren’t trained to provide. Investing in legal representation without setting appropriate boundaries or realistic expectations can result in you wasting your money—and your lawyer wasting their time. Moreover, it can affect their ability to help you in the courtroom. Ultimately, expecting the wrong things from your divorce attorney, even unknowingly, can result in a loss for both parties.

Both attorneys and therapists truly have a client’s best interests at heart, it can be common for them to offer contradictory advice. While receiving conflicting advice can be confusing, it isn’t necessarily bad. It just means that your therapist and family law attorney are drawing on their individual training, skills, and specialized knowledge to provide the best counsel and fulfill the unique responsibilities of their role. If anything, the client can be confident that they are getting important information from both reinforcing their ability to make good choices. No one benefits when paid professionals offer counsel that falls outside their area of expertise.

However, taking legal advice from your therapist or psychological counseling from your attorney likely won’t end well, as it can blur lines and muddle your initial purposes for hiring them. Risks of blurring professional lines with an attorney. In the same way that you wouldn’t ask your plumber for medical advice (or ask your physician to fix your sink), it’s important to keep your legal and emotional needs separate, as this is the only way that your therapist and divorce lawyer can do their jobs well.

To obtain a favorable result in court, you and your divorce lawyer need to work well together. This requires a good understanding of what your attorneys role in a family law case is. Not having that understanding can lead to a poor attorney-client relationship, which can not only negatively impact the divorce proceedings, but also cost you more in the long run.

This is why familiarizing yourself with your divorce lawyer’s role in your divorce can help the two of you maintain a good attorney-client relationship and thus maximize your odds of success. So, what are some things you can expect from a good, experienced family law attorney?

You can always expect honest, realistic legal counsel. Your attorney will provide you with advice and/or legal recommendations to help determine your steps throughout the process. They do this in large part by helping you keep your focus on the facts and minimize emotional detours as much as possible while working out the multiple decisions that need to be made in your case. You can also expect them to maintain healthy boundaries and set appropriate expectations for you to maximize your chances of success.

This doesn’t mean that your emotions and feelings aren’t important. Truthfully, it is quite the opposite. For many people, healing from divorce takes a village and seeking help from a therapist, financial planner , family or parenting counselor, realtor, lender, or other professional can empower you to get your life back on track and restore your sense of stability. And this is where your attorney, along with their experienced legal team, can help by assisting you to connecting with professionals whose primary roles are designed to assist people like you in various areas during this major life transition.