An old saying, originating from baseball is: “Keep your eye on the ball.” It is a reminder for players that they need to watch where the ball is at all times during the game. Those players who do not keep an eye on the ball are more likely to make an error, strike out, or get thrown out at home base. This saying is also used commonly in business and personal life matters to emphasize that it is important to pay attention to whatever situation you are in. This includes the need to:
- Stay focused.
- Stay attentive and ready.
- Remain alert to the events occurring around you.
- Give your attention to what you are doing at the time.
- Continue thinking about or giving attention to something important.
What Does It Mean To “Keep Your Eye on The Ball” In A Divorce?
Keeping your eye on the ball in a divorce means focusing on the most important issues and priorities at hand, avoiding getting sidetracked by smaller disagreements or emotional distractions, and maintaining a clear focus on achieving your desired outcome. Identify what is most crucial to you in the divorce settlement, whether it's about child custody, asset division, or financial support, and prioritize those aspects over minor disputes.
Stay focused on what is relevant and important to reaching the result you want. Ask your attorney what is relevant and tell them to remind you when you veer off course. Also prioritize your mental and emotional well-being by actively managing your thoughts and actions. Stay focused by being in the moment. If you have a meeting, such as a mediation or a settlement negotiation, be there in body and mind, as you work with your attorney to develop your case for trial or a negotiated settlement, identify and avoid the “side shows” which, although meaningful to you, don’t have significance to your legal case.
How Do I Know What “The Ball” Is?
A General Judgment of Dissolution is a written document, signed by the judge, that defines every important issue that the court has determined in your case. This is where you transfer your goals, which are the results you are working to achieve, into an enforceable document. It is essentially, “the ball” and represents your ultimate goal in the divorce proceeding.
This all starts with setting your goals early in the divorce process, However, before setting your financial and personal goals, now and 25 years from now, in stone, here are some questions to ask yourself:
- How much do you need to live after your assets, income and debt are separated?
- What assets are important to you (home/car/retirement account)?
- What are your career and retirement plans?
- Who will make major decisions about your children?
- How often do you want to see your children?
- What guidelines do you wish to uphold in parenting your kids?
- Where do you plan to live?
How Do I “Keep My Eye” On the Ball?
This can understandably be exceedingly difficult in a divorce, with all the things you are already worrying about, like paying the bills, potentially having to find a new place to live and dealing with the children. It’s easy to just want to sit back and not think about anything. However, thinking strategically encourages a calculated approach to the divorce and allows you to stay focused on the legal matters at hand without getting drawn into unnecessary arguments or blame games if your spouse tries to bring up past grievances unrelated to the current divorce issues. And keeping your eye on the ball in this sense means thinking deliberately about every decision you are going to need to make. This includes making decisions that:
- Don’t constrict your ability to negotiate.
- Keep building towards your future instead of reopening old wounds.
- Don’t get yourself caught up on the scoreboard of who is getting more of what. You will have plenty of time later on to do that, but in this window of time continue to see the whole picture.
Can My Emotions Get in the Way of Keeping My Mind on the Ball?
Divorce is often highly emotional, and past resentments can fog your judgment and impair you from thinking clearly about what is key. At any point in the divorce process the emotional intensity of the situation can lead you astray from what truly matters to you. Keeping your eye on the ball in this situation means prioritizing your mental and emotional well-being by actively managing your thoughts and actions.
Don’t let yourself get overly consumed by negative emotions.
Take steps to maintain stability while navigating the legal and logistical aspects of the divorce process.
This can include seeking support from friends, family, a therapist, practicing self-care, and setting clear boundaries with your soon-to-be ex-partner.
Don’t push away having to make decisions because you feel they are unpleasant, or you have better things to be doing.
The more involved you are, the quicker you can make decisions that will get you closer to your goals.
Baseball Players Work on Keeping Their Eye on the Ball with Their Coach. In a Divorce, Does the Attorney Take on This Role?
Like a veteran coach has coached every considerable baseball strategy, an experienced family law attorney has seen pretty much everything that can happen in a divorce case. Their accrued knowledge can help you identify what "the ball" is in your specific situation and guide you towards achieving your goals. Keeping in close contact with your attorney is one of the best ways to make sure that your divorce proceedings do not suffer any unnecessary hang ups.
Just like it is important for you to reach out to discuss your questions and concerns with your lawyer, it is likewise important for you to be available if something comes up. So, keep an eye on your emails, your cell phone and check your voicemails frequently, in case your lawyer is trying to contact you.
If you would like to speak with one of our attorneys about family law questions, we are always here to help. Contact us at (503) 227-0200 to set up your free consultation today.