Oh, Valentine’s Day. A Hallmark holiday that won’t let you forget that “love is in the air” with the heart-shaped candies, bouquets of flowers and love letters to be had—a consumer testament that love is out there, at least for (what can feel like) everyone but you. While Valentines Day can serve as a special reminder to take the time to appreciate the loved ones in your life, it can also become a painful reminder of love lost, especially after a divorce or separation. While trying to navigate the highs and lows of a slowly mending broken heart, this day of celebration can feel crushing for the individual who recently walked through a difficult split.
The reality is that, for many people, there will be seasons of life when celebrating romantic love is either not present or not a priority, and that’s okay. If you find yourself feeling nervous about the upcoming Valentine’s Day, consider vetoing the holiday all together. You wouldn’t be the first, and you won’t be the last. There are plenty of people out there who pass on recognizing the holiday and chose to treat it like any other day, and if this outlook would suit you this year, do what would be best for you.
That being said, if you know if your heart of hearts that you’re a true follower of Valentine’s Day and you won’t be able to simply ignore it, it may be more effective to focus on how you can recreate the holiday to be exactly what you need. We give ideas for how to make Valentine’s Day special post-divorce.
Treat Yourself to Something Nice
It’s been said before, but we want to reiterate this idea: who better to showcase love to than yourself? After a difficult divorce or separation, you’re likely more in need of a little doting than ever before. Take a moment to consider how you can splurge on yourself this Valentine’s Day as an act of self-love. Maybe it’s getting a massage, buying yourself a gift you’ve had your eye on, or going to a class that would promote self-growth. Whatever you decide to do, make sure it’s something that you’re wholly excited for. There will be years when Valentine’s Day is spent expressing love towards someone else, and there will be years when you get to express that love inwardly; we believe both are healthy and can lead to similar outcomes—a feeling of self-assurance.
Spend Time with Other Loved Ones
Valentine’s Day is a day of love, but that doesn’t have to refer to only romantic love. You can recreate this holiday to be a day where you celebrate your love for your family and friends. How can you focus on showing your loved ones how special they are to you this Valentine’s Day? Whether it be writing a letter, going to a movie, or making dinner together, there are a wide array of ways you can spend quality time with your friends and family this year.
Do Absolutely Nothing!
Perhaps you don’t feel up for anything extravagant this year, and truthfully you would rather spend the day doing absolutely nothing and with no expectations. If that’s the case, allow yourself the freedom to lay low and just be. Maybe your perfect idea of Valentine’s Day this year consists of changing into your pajamas on the couch with some wine, your favorite junk food and nothing ahead of you for the evening but hours of watching movies of reading your favorite book. There is no shame whatsoever in needing an evening to process your feelings and escape from any form of expectations.
If you’ll be spending Valentine’s Day without a significant other this year, remember that there is no one right way to spend the day. Whether it be investing in yourself, your family, or your friends, there are still ways you can make the Hallmark holiday memorable.
Lewis Irwin Landerholm
Founding Partner
Lewis Landerholm realized the importance of family and justice from a very young age. With grandparents in the legal field, a mother in education and a father who was a domestic violence counselor, Lewis was raised by a family dedicated to helping people. His role models taught Lewis that the world is a complicated place where education and a helping hand could make all the difference.
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