We are often telling our divorce clients what they should do, but today we’ve made a list of some things that you should not do during your divorce. Trust us, they rarely go well for the person who does them.
1) Intentionally quit working while the divorce is pending.
It doesn’t matter what your situation is. Not working, being underemployed, and not looking for work is horrible advice. There are many reasons to work and not all of them are financial. If possible, you should work as much as is practical while your divorce is pending.
2) Move all of your belongings out of the house while your spouse is at work.
Don’t tell your spouse this is your plan, either. Divorces in which one spouse moves out of the house unbeknown to the other go very badly. The element of surprise should not be what you are going for in a divorce. Of course, there is a caveat when you or your children’s safety is at stake.
3) Hack into your spouse’s email/track their car.
While we know that Functional magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scans have suggested that love can alter the structure of the areas in your brain involved in processing sensory and emotional information, stalking is never the answer. Hacking into your spouse’s email or putting a tracker on their car can result in criminal charges or restraining orders being filed against you. You don’t need criminal charges and a divorce pending simultaneously. Nothing good ever comes from following someone else around.
4) Get extremely drunk and then (fill in the blank).
Too many people, at some point in a divorce proceeding, go out, get drunk, and then do something very regrettable. This could be confronting your spouse in front of other people, showing up at your spouse’s house, getting arrested for drinking and driving, getting drunk in front of your children, etc. Ask yourself how many attorneys you want to pay at one time?
5) Post about your divorce on social media.
Even if you go back later and delete the social media post, it’s probably too late. You could be saying things you shouldn’t be saying on social media, posting inappropriate pictures of your spouse, or just ranting about the divorce in general. You cannot take this back in front of the judge, so don’t do it to begin with.
6) Don’t financially support your spouse or children.
There may not be court orders in place yet but almost all judges have the ability to make retroactive support orders. These support orders can go back several months and/or years. You may think you are saving money and really getting the better end of the deal or you may just be mad at your spouse for leaving but by not voluntarily paying your spouse any support this will come back to bite you. The bite could be huge and financially set you back for years.
7) Buy your girlfriend an engagement ring.
Until you are legally divorced half of that engagement ring belongs to your wife. Need we say more?
If you’d like to speak with one of our attorneys for further advise on what to do and what not to do during a divorce, we are here to provide guidance! Call us at (888) 981-9511 or contact us online to get connected with an attorney today.
Lewis Irwin Landerholm
Founding Partner
Lewis Landerholm realized the importance of family and justice from a very young age. With grandparents in the legal field, a mother in education and a father who was a domestic violence counselor, Lewis was raised by a family dedicated to helping people. His role models taught Lewis that the world is a complicated place where education and a helping hand could make all the difference.
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